I did it! I watched 365 movies in one year. And I'm not stopping there! The Moviethon rolls on. My basement flooded due to a plumbing leak but in the long run I will get new carpet and extra money from my insurance company. Silver linings, people. I'm going to continue my reviews until the end of the year!
#401 - The Raid 2 [2014]
Date Watched: 11/30/15
Exhilarating comes to mind when I think of this incredible Indonesian crime saga. Packed with some of the fastest and well-choreographed fight scenes you will ever see. People complain it's overlong but I disagree. I was enthralled for every second.
Rating: 9.5/10
#402 - Unfriended [2015]
Date Watched: 11/30/15
Interesting idea with decent execution. Having an entire movie take place on a computer screen is not exactly exciting or groundbreaking, but being that it's a short (82 minutes) horror movie, it works. Most of the teenagers are stereotypical and annoying, but they do feel like real people I went to high school with. Gruesome deaths that are impactful because they only show glimpses and involve unique instruments of death (blender and curling iron).
Rating: 6.5/10
#403 - Swingers [1995]
Date Watched: 12/1/15
A unique 90's time capsule. It was released when swing music had come back in style so it captures that brief period in all its glory, for better or worse. It's a character study at its core and the main cast does a fine job, though Jon Farveau's doe-eyed emo schtick gets old fast but he's bailed out by Vince Vaughn's inimitable charm. Loved the Nintendo joke - the struggle is real.
Rating: 7/10
#404 - Crash [2005]
Date Watched: 12/1/15
Heavy-handed but thought-provoking. It generalizes stereotypes a little too much but thew performances are excellent throughout. More relevant now than ever.
Rating: 7.5/10
#405 - Lost In Space [1998]
Date Watched: 12/1/15
Awesome special effects but scattershot acting from all involved. Heather Graham is bad, William Hurt seems confused but Lacy should bear is smoking hot and Matt LeBlanc plays the badass surprisingly well. Gary Oldman always plays oh good bad guy, but this isn't up there with his best. I liked the spider egg villains that spread like a virus, and the time bubble concept is pretty creative.
Rating: 7/10
#406 - Thir13en Ghosts [2001]
Date Watched: 12/1/15
Poorly cast and overacted but gory and a lot of fun. Tony Shaloub is an odd choice for the lead, Shannon Elizabeth is phoning it in and Matthew Lillard is ridiculous, but F Murray Abraham shows up and sprinkles the joint with some class. The glass house and all the ghosts are creative and scary, plus they are pulled off with practical make up effects. My favorites include the jackal, the hammer, the breaker and the angry naked princess.
Rating: 6.5/10
#407 - Godzilla [2014]
Date Watched: 12/1/15
I love this dark and gritty reboot of the King of the monsters. Many people complain it's too dark and Godzilla takes almost an hour to show up, but I think it works very well. It builds tension and allows for some decent character development. Aaron Taylor Johnson is stiff and forgettable as the lead, but everyone else does a pretty good job. The monster flight is worth the wait and the bad monsters, or MUTOs, are original and make formidable foes.
Rating: 8/10
#408 - The Iron Giant [1999]
Such a beautifully animated and genuinely heartfelt film. Brad Bird knocked it out of the park on his first swing. Great voice acting by all involved. I love that violence turns the giant into this advanced Martian weapon. Some of the weapons and defense mechanisms the robot has are insanely cool. Impactful swearing. Highly quotable: "what you currently have IN YOUR MOUTH...IS ART!"
Rating: 9.5/10
#409 - The Thing [1982]
I know I just watched it! You don't understand...with movie buffs we have to watch our favorites repeatedly, in fact we love it. Supposedly it's good for you! Anyway, I reached my goal of 400 movies this year so now I'm doing whatever the fuck I feel like so if you don't like it, JOG ON. Anyway, I must review what I watch and I can always talk about Carpenter's classic. Such a bleak but well made and suspenseful film. Ennio Morricone's score is a dreadful accouterments. Superb sound design.
Rating: 10/10
#410 - Goldeneye [1995]
Pierce Brosnan's first and best portrayal of 007. Accompanied by the best-selling Nintendo 64 game, this bonded venture has extreme nostalgic appeal. However it is definitely a return to the classic bond formula after a five-year drought. The tank chase through St. Petersburg is one of my favorite action scenes from the entire series. Bond even does the suavely badass tie adjustment.
Rating: 9/10
#411 - Odd Thomas [2014]
Interesting concept. Never read the book but I heard it's a weak adaptation. The concept is not unique but rife for creativity, however it is never quite utilized to its full potential. I enjoyed the cast. Anton Yelchin is good as OT. Addison Timlin is so goddamn sexy it's almost unbearable. Willem Dafoe must need to pay for his boat or something because his character is pretty superfluous. The Bodacks (sp?) are a wild idea, kind of like these aural, other dimensional beings (kinda like Psi-Ops - I need to replay that). They feed on violence and death like crack addicts, swarming like insects. It's nifty stuff. I wish they would have explored Odd's character more, as he is The ending actually made me sad.
Rating: 6.5/10
#412 - Graveyard Shift [1990]
I've always enjoyed this Stephen King adaptation. Based on the gruesome short story, it follows it closely and runs a brisk 90 minutes. Good gore and shot beautifully on location in an abandoned yarn mill in Maine.
Rating: 7/10
#413 - Venom [2005]
A Cajun slasher that was lost in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. It follows the standard slasher formula and contains stereotypical characters, but the bayou setting makes it visually slick and ominous. I like the idea of a voodoo-inspired killer who has 13 evil souls trapped within him after being bitten by cursed voodoo snakes, hence the "venom" title. Killer Ray is imposing and kept in the shadows which makes him more sinister. He uses crowbars, chains and automotive equipment as his weapons. They also gave him an awesome vehicle, an imposing rusty tow truck/Herkimmer Battle Ginnie similar to the Creeper's van in Jeepers Creepers. It features some pretty wild stunts for a low budget horror flick, including a brief but intense car chase through the bayou and Killer Ray tearing the side off a plantation to get to his prey.
In the beginning, a lot of the gore is shown offscreen which is disappointing, especially a metal sand blaster kill. However, we get plenty of bloody impalings and slit throats to satisfy as the films rolls along. The cast is a mixed bag. Agnes Brucker and her perky knockers bounce around a lot, while Bijou Phillips is irritating. Overall, an underrated slasher in the vein of Hatchet.
In the beginning, a lot of the gore is shown offscreen which is disappointing, especially a metal sand blaster kill. However, we get plenty of bloody impalings and slit throats to satisfy as the films rolls along. The cast is a mixed bag. Agnes Brucker and her perky knockers bounce around a lot, while Bijou Phillips is irritating. Overall, an underrated slasher in the vein of Hatchet.
Rating: 6.5/10
#414 - Black Christmas [1974]
A devious little slasher that predates Halloween by three years. The verbal vulgarities over the telephone are disgusting and creepy...CUNT. It's bright and colorful, which clashes with the horror but complements the bloodshed. Olivia Hussey is hot (big tits) and Margot Kidder is silly and slovenly. It's so interesting that Bob Clark directed this and A Christmas Story, both about Christmas but at complete opposite ends of the spectrum.
Rating: 8/10
#415 - Ticks [1993]
A giant bug creature feature the homages great sci-fi classics like Them and Tarantula. Released direct-to-video, we still get a campy cheesefest packed with awesomely gooey practical effects and animatronics. Add in a hilariously goofy Cliff Howard and you've got yourself a killer B-movie.
Rating: 7/10
#416 - Return of the Living Dead, Part II [1989]
A weak sophomore entry especially compared to the originals ingenuity, core and nudity. This one is a plotting rehash that has a few cool ideas but mostly just underwhelms. Some cool zombie make up as is expected in the 80s.
Rating: 6/10
#417 - Dark Was The Night [2014]
Dig the cinematography a lot. Washed out but sharp. It follows the Jaws slow reveal guidelines, building tension slowly with incidental signs and fleeting glimpses of the creature. The pulsing score and superb sound design enhance the tension even further. I like the religious overtones and atonement themes, plus the dialogue and discussion regarding the creature is informative and unnerving. The emergence of the creature is believable but I feel like the environmentalist themes are a little heavy-handed. Once the ice storm rolls in, it takes on an isolation vibe akin to The Thing. And while the final creature reveal is underwhelming and a bit confusing, I can forgive the crappy CGI considering the budget and minimalist nature of the story. The acting is decent but nothing worth noting. Kevin Durand is a little too solemn for my taste. Overall, a solid creature feature.
Rating: 7/10
#418 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade [1989]
Though Raiders of the Lost Ark is the better film, Last Crusade is my personal favorite Indiana Jones adventure. I love the father-son dynamic between Indy and his father; Harrison Ford and Sean Connery are both superb and have phenomenal chemistry. The action scenes are also the best of the series. The number of nifty vehicles are used, whether it be a boat chase, a motorcycle chase, an airplane chase that turns into a car chase, and of course the showstopper – an extended 10 minute tank battle with Indy on horseback featuring some invigorating vehicular carnage. I like the religious aspects as well, as many of the characters have their faith tested while others support or challenge multiple religious viewpoints. The three challenges Indy must face at the end are thought-provoking while remaining fun – a rare balance that Spielberg has mastered over the years.
This is a Grade A adventure picture that ranks up there with the best and is in my Top 30 films of all time.
Rating: 10/10
#419 - The Magnificent Seven [1960]
Western version of Kirosawa's Seven Samurai. A brilliant cast especially Yul Brenner and Charles Bronson. This is what I call a "tough guy mash-up" where a bunch of hard-assed roughnecks join forces to defeat a brutish big bad and his cronies.
Rating: 9/10
#420 - Terminator Genisys [2015] 👎👎
Attempted a re-watch.... and it was still just as stupid. The worst part is it starts out so promisingly and then just shits the bed. So many shallow ideas that clearly were not thought out, even to those who are just casual fans of the Terminator films. Why would future Terminators drive trucks? Wouldn't they be automated? Then upon finding the time displacement equipment, Connor and Co., despite knowing absolutely nothing about how this machine operates, drop flares into it and enter without any type of reconnaissance. It's asinine things like this that rubbed me the wrong way from the get go.
This all stems from a shitty script by two hack writers whose biggest accomplishment between them is My Bloody Valentine 3D. Having Skynet become aware through a new video game system? Good grief, what is this 1995? What a dumb idea...at the end of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, it was established Skynet spread through the internet like a virus which made sense, but having it originate from a fucking video game console that maybe 35-40% of the population will buy is one of the STUPIDEST ideas I've ever seen in a science-fiction movie.
Being a huge fan of Cameron's films, it is sickening to see what these once memorable characters have devolved into. Sarah Connor is no longer the badass soldier but your standard issue DID (damsel in distress) who needs a man to save her. Now I'm no feminist, but taking one of the strongest female characters in the history of cinema and turning her into a cloying plot point is about as insulting as it gets. It's like turning Ellen Ripley into a cockteasing cheerleader. Jason Clarke as John Connor seems like a good idea, but like Sarah they take the character in a misguided direction by trying to quell franchise fatigue. Spoiler Alert: they turn John into the fucking bad guy! Doesn't that just shit all over what Cameron did? It was "protect John Connor at all costs" because the human race was doomed without him. It's an intriguing idea, but terribly mishandled. And fucking Jai Courtney is awful, just godawful. Can we please move on America? This guy needs to go the fuck away. Here's hoping he doesn't ruin Ayers' Suicide Squad. The only person doing their job is Arnold as the T-800. He made this character what it is and never misses a beat stepping right back into the Terminator's leather boots.
The special effects look atrocious, namely a helicopter escape/fight at the end where the CGI looks like a PS2 video game. The one stunt I was looking forward to was a school bus flipping over front first (like the tractor trailer in The Dark Knight) because it looked like it was accomplished with practical effects. It was, but then they added needless CGI debris and flames that made it look so bad. Alan Taylor's direction is uninspired and bland. I've never been much of a fan of his; he seems like one of those directors that gets stuck with the shitty projects other, better directors turn down. Furthermore, the film is visually stagnant. The Terminator films have always had an industrial look to them, with lots of blues, grays, blacks and oranges. Here we get a muddled mess of browns and grays that looks ugly.
I braced myself for this day, where someone other than James Cameron ran one of the greatest sci-fi franchises into the ground. It seems fitting that this entry had to reset the timeline in order to occur, as this one should be excised from the Terminator canon and fucked with a rusty spike. It is one of the worst entries into a franchise since Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning while simultaneously being one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!
Rating: 1/10
#421 - Krampus [2015]
Truly great Christmas horror films are few and far between. Krampus can proudly add itself to that esteemed company. Not only is it a good horror film, it is a good film altogether. The cast, the script, the atmosphere, the production design, the music and the direction are all impeccable. It feels like vintage Joe Dante, complete with mean-spirited humor. I swear one sound effect was a Mogwai from Gremlins.
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- Fairy tale/story book aspect
- Great characters, if a little stereotypical
- Inventiveness galore with all the monsters and devilish dark use of Christmas music
- But I liked the Christmas family bickering because it reminds me a little of my family. I would've liked more killer creatures but I am more than OK with what we got!
- The PG-13 rating didn't hurt it as much as I thought it would. There's almost no blood or gore, but the scares are still effective. If you think about it, the film is much darker than it looks. Having an 'anti-Santa' who "doesn't give, but takes" is a devilishly sinister idea that the movie fully explores.
- Michael Dougherty is an extremely talented director, especially with holiday themed movies. Now if he would just collaborate with Eli Roth and make Thanksgiving already!
Rating: 8.5/10
#422 - Stigmata [1999]
A true late 90's horror/thriller complete with post-grunge alt rock soundtrack and that indelible 90's fashion. Patricia Arquette's perky knockers bounce around gingerly which for 13-year-old me was a boner-riffic sight.
Rating: 6/10
#423 - Gremlins 2: The New Batch [1990]
How do you top Gremlins? Unique and unorthodox, it was the perfect monster movie and one of my favorite Christmas movies. Enter The New Batch which goes the self-aware route and has the scaly green bastards overrunning a high-tech office building filled with everything from cooking shows to a 1950's style mad scientist lab. There are a bunch of new Gremlins, such as the Spider Gremlin and the Electric Gremlin, all pulled off with an impressive combination of practical and stop motion effects. Joe Dante is the man.
Rating: 8.5/10
#424 - Space Jam [1995]
One of my favorite movies growing up as a kid is still a lot of fun and a unique film just like who framed Roger rabbit in that it impressively combines live-action & animation. I was a big Looney Tunes fan at the time so I always enjoyed it on a child like level. They include so many characters from the Warner Bros. Canon, even incidental ones who've only ever been in a single short are somewhere in the audience, which really makes the world feel full and populated. The cast, both real and animated, are excellent. Jordan is totally game, with natural charisma that shines through. Bill Murray is his usual sarcastic self while Wayne Knight is very Newman-esque as he bumbles about. The Looney Tunes are voiced extremely well by the fill ins. The movie is packed with pop culture references galore, everything from Pulp Fiction to Caddyshack. And of course since it was made in the 90s, it has that upbeat attitude and silly RnB soundtrack.
Rating: 8/10
12/12/15 - Xmas party - Xmas movie Rudolph I think.
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#425 - Small Soldiers [1998]
Speaking of Joe Dante, Small Soldiers was my first exposure to him along with Gremlins. This is a fun movie with a mean streak and some amazingly creative action & destruction. The voice cast is amazing while the human cast is a mixed bag.
Rating: 8.5/10
#426 - She's All That [1999]
Another one I watched 15 times because of the pirated PPV. It's a typical teen comedy but it was one of the first decent ones, plus the cast and music aren't horrible. I had a major crush on Rachel Leigh Cook so that helps too.
Rating: 6.5/10
#427 - King Kong [2005]
Imagine getting to remake your favorite movie. You know you'll do a good job because of your love for the source, but sometimes being so close to something can cloud your judgment. King Kong is iconic, representing the birth of cinema as a legitimate art form, and while Jackson's version is thrilling and fun, it does feel bloated and a tad saccharine. The film has three distinct acts: the Journey across the sea, the Island Adventure and the City Rampage. It takes its time with each, which is nice and harkens back to old school Hollywood epics, but some of the early scenes are too corny for my taste. I also loved the nods to Jackson's earlier films like Braindead/Dead Alive with a Sumerian Rat Monkey crate glimpsed in the Venture's hold.
The action/adventure vibe is right on and Jackson's usual visual flair is on full display with many kinetic, eye-popping set pieces, including A jaw dropping battle between Kong and FOUR Tyrannosaurs on steroids "V-Rexes" and a terrifying recreation of the lost "spider pit" sequence. It is worth watching for the action alone, but the cast is game and has fun with their roles. Naomi Watts is always outstanding, and here she's beautiful and sweet. Her interaction and rapport with Kong is believable and ultimately heartbreaking. Jack Black hams it up good as the director. Adrien Brody feels slightly miscast; he's too scrawny. And lastly, the title star is a dynamic creation, the expert melding of motion capture courtesy of the great Andy Serkis and state of the art CGI. Why is he so good at portraying computer-generated monkeys?! Such an odd niche.
Overall it's a very good movie, and the extended cut is a fun watch if you've got the time as it adds even more action. When this came out I had recently become obsessed with the 1933 original film so I enjoyed this much more than most people. I also saw it with my mom who absolutely loved it.
Rating: 8/10
#428 - Fast Times at Ridgemont High [1983]
A stoner classic of the comedy genre, and rightfully so. The cast is excellent, and moreover, believable as young teens who indulge in sex, booze, drugs and rock & roll. Sean Penn is always plastered on the posters and other marketing material, but it's much more about Jennifer Jason Leigh and this other dorky guy. The rest of the cast is mostly there for support, but they do an outstanding job and a number of them are future stars like Forest Whitaker. It's a very humorous but also very accurate portrayal of what it's like to be a high school student, no matter the generation.
Rating: 8/10
#429 - Demolition Man [1993]
On my top 30 movies of all time and for good reason. It's one of the best sci-fi movies of the 90s, fully realizing it's premise with big budget sets and explosions and a clever cast that all have excellent chemistry. Stallone is at his best here, and he's naturally funny when playing the straight man to Huxley's naïve young cop. Wesley Snipes always plays the best bag guys and Simon Phoenix is, in my opinion, his best. He is cunning, lethal, resilient and fucking hilarious. It builds its world exceptionally well down to the tiniest details.
Rating: 10/10
#430 - Tango & Cash [1993]
Another Stallone flick the teams him up with the great Kurt Russell. Both have good macho charisma and play off each other well, but the film gets too goofy at times to where you kind of roll your eyes.
Rating: 6.5/10
#431 - Death Race 2000 [1975]
One of Roger Corman's many mid 70s exploitation hits that succeeds by combining zany action, ridiculous ideas and titties. All the women are skanky cock teases but they deliver the goods. The whole concept is more relevant now then you think in terms of shitty reality TV that has no morals, much like Cormans filmmaking style itself. It's all played with tongue firmly in cheek and the goofy cast hams it up big time, including a young hotheaded Sylvester Stallone and the always bad ass David Carradine. Just noticed that this is the third Stallone movie in a row I've watched hahaha. The cartoony production design and the corny stock music only reinforce the nuttiness.
Rating: 7/10
#432 - Blood Glacier [2013]
A loving homage to Carpenter's The Thing, this German film follows a similar set-up, showcasing creative creatures and utilizing impressive practical effects for the most part. Having a Chimeran organism than can spawn mutant animal hybrids is a terrifying idea. I like the religious "end of days" overtones as well, with one character believing the gates of hell have opened. The score also mimics Ennio Morricone's somber masterpiece of paranoia.
Rating: 7/10
#433 - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens [2015]
The Force Awakens was everything I hoped for and MORE! Great characters you care about, excellent performances from all involved, a fast-paced yet fun script and respect for the mythos and visual style of the original trilogy. I am shocked J.J. Abrams and company pulled this off. Bring on Episode VIII!
The visuals were reminiscent of the Tattooine, Hoth and Endor. Things look authentic, not fake and plastic like the prequel's. I adored all the new planets and background characters & creatures that further deepen the Star Wars universe in a good way.
I absolutely love how Rey becomes the main character, another strong female badass to join the likes of Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor. Killing of Han Solo, arguably the series' most beloved character, took major cajones but was a gut punch and necessary for the development of Kylo Ren as the new main villain. I was amazed at how well Adam Driver did as Ren. I hated Driver with a passion (his greasy character on the godawful Girls was repulsive) but once he shaved the pedo-mustache and picked up a lightsaber, he transformed into a good actor.
Rating: 9/10
#434 - Ghostbusters [1984]
The cast and clever script are the reason this movie is a bonafide classic. Add in charmingly ghoulish special effects and a memorably hip soundtrack and you've got yourself one of the greatest comedies of all time.
Rating: 10/10
#435 - Jupiter Ascending [2014]
Slick looking but narratively hollow, this bloated space epic tries to emulate Star Wars for better and worse. I didn't think Mila Kunis or Eddie Redmayne did a very good job. The action and special effects are top notch as expected, but sometimes they move so fast you can't tell what the hell is going on.
Rating: 6.5/10
#436 - Die Hard With A Vengeance [1995]
Though the original film is my favorite now, DHWAV was my favorite when I was younger. The chemistry between Bruce Willis and Samuel Jackson is excellent, they play off each other well and the characters are memorable and feel authentic. Jeremy Irons as Simon is an excellent villain and having him be Hans Gruber's brother adds another layer to the hero-villain dynamic (and an interesting plot twist). John McClane is so good at directing action movies and here he delivers some more classic action scenes for the series, including a unique dump truck tunnel flood. The riddles, especially the five gallon container filling scene, and McClane's adventures throughout New York keep you on the edge of your seat, hanging on Simon's every word.
Rating: 9.5/10
#437 - Home Alone [1990]
A Christmas classic. Macauley Culkin is endearing, the set up and pay off is extremely well done, John Williams' nimble score perfectly complements the film. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are perfect as the bumbling wet bandits, and seeing them fall prey to Kevin's improvised household traps, some of which seem extremely complicated and unlikely like the blowtorch, is immensely satisfying.
Rating: 10/10
#438 - The Nightmare Before Christmas [1993]
Beautiful animation, creative character designs and Burton and Selick's trademark visual style. Great musical numbers and at 76 minutes, it's short and sweet.
Rating: 8.5/10
#439 - Jacob's Ladder [1990]
An ethereal nightmare, this psychological thriller is sure to perplexed and disturb in equal measure. It functions as a number of different films: a love story, a horror movie, an anti-war story and a cryptic journey through life and death. Adrian Lyne's direction is seedy and raw. Tim Robbins and Elizabeth Pena are believable and Jacob's trip down the ladder is disturbingly convincing. The hospital scene is extremely unsettling.
Rating: 9/10
#440 - Banshee Chapter [2013]
Unnerving retelling of Lovecraft's From Beyond, a reporter and Hunter S. Thompson-esque counterculture author experiment with a mind-altering drug in order to find the reporter's friend. The drug ends up turning them into a receiver, allowing inter-dimensional beings to possess and "wear" their skin. It's based on Project MKUltra, a secret CIA program that did experiments on unwilling victims to assess the feasibility of mind control.
Rating: 7/10
#441 - Hellboy [2004]
I was super pumped for this one when it came out, but was underwhelmed because my expectations were so damn high. This is the first instance of the "Elysium Effect". I love it now, especially the perfect casting and stunning visuals. Selma Blair is the only weak point, as she is a terrible actress, but she doesn't drag things down too much.
Rating: 7.5/10
#442 - The Santa Clause 2 [2002]
Inferior, but still fun. Having Max be anti-Christmas because he never gets to see his dad is an interesting plot point.
Rating: 6.5/10
#443 - Pod [2015]
It's crazy that the last few movies I've watched all had something to do with Project MKUltra, where the CIA experimented on unwitting subjects with mind altering drugs, sensory deprivation and torture. Jacob's Ladder, Banshee Chapter and now Pod. It's a fascinating subject that's perfect to build a movie around. The execution is solid, with better than average acting and a very creepy undertone. Not much happens for the first 45 minutes, but it is interesting enough to hold your attention. I've heard many complaints about the sister screaming all the time, and while her caterwauling is annoying, it's understandable considering what she's experiencing. The final creature reveal is effective and the abrupt and ambiguous ending gives it a Twilight Zone vibe, however it does leave a few too many questions unanswered. I'm all for ambiguity in horror movies, but here a little more explanation would've went along way.
Rating: 7/10
#444 - Commando [1985]
A huge guilty pleasure and one of the best action movies of the 90s. It was Arnold's first film released after he exploded with The Terminator. It's an over-the-top action-fest full of explosions, bad guys dying in creative ways, great one-liners and machismo galore. Bennett makes for a great villain. Rae Dawn Chung is amusing and actually becomes useful later in the movie when she helps Arnold escape from police. And I would be remiss to not mention David Patrick Kelly as the slimy Sully, who gets the best death and one-liner in the movie. I believe this was the first use of the fictional country of Val Verde in film. John McTiernan would later use it in Predator.
Rating: 9/10
#445 - The Deer Hunter [1978]
Bleak but powerful story of Vietnam veterans and the struggles they face adjusting to life at home. Robert De Niro and Christopher Walken are fantastic. The war scenes and Russian Roulette scene are as intense and nerve-racking as they were back then. The film cleaned up at the Oscars and rightfully so. It took him best picture and best director for Michael Cimino, a fascinating director who wasn't afraid to take risks and tell the stories he wanted to tell, Hollywood be damned.
Rating; 10/10
#446 - The Conspiracy [2014]
This low budget horror-thriller explores the conspiracy theories of the world and creates one of its own to explain it all. Most of the film is just dialogue and mystery, but it is intriguing enough to not feel boring or forced. We are as skeptic as the main characters, but as things unfold we begin to believe they might be onto something. The ending brings it all full circle and is chilling to think about.
Rating: 6.5/10
#447 - Gremlins [1984]
Joe Dante's best film is a sly Christmas classic.
Excellent cast
Manic music by Jerry Goldsmith
Incredible special effects from Chris Walas and Co.
Very dark and macabre humor (esp Kate's story about Santa)
Tons of nods to films of the past (Alien with the gremlin cocoons)
Rating: 10/10
#448 - Mr. Jones [2014]
An interesting idea that our world and the dream world are both real but separate, and we glimpse it in our dreams. A mysterious entity must protect that boundary with grotesque scarecrows that act as shields/repellents. This meta-concept is rife for exploration, however the final film is more concerned with disorienting and bewildering than actually explaining the big picture. This ultimately hinders the film because too many things are left unanswered. I liked the idea of those who encounter Mr. Jones must take up his mantle and protect the waking world from the nightmare one, though whether this is caused by the main character is left ambiguous. I also would've loved to have seen Sarah Jones' huge tits, but I'll have to settle for them bouncing around in a semi see-through nightgown late in the film.
Rating: 5/10
-12/24
#449 - Hulk [2003]
Ang Lee's pre-Marvel Cinematic Universe superhero story is a disjointed mess of a movie filled with big ideas and even bigger aspirations, but its reach exceeds its grasp.
R: 6/10
#450 - Jumper 2011?
Doug Liman's creative sci-fi romp has a number of truly awesome ideas but its muddled story and odd cast hinder it considerably. Hayden Christensen just isn't a good actor. His stiff, stilted delivery sabotages every character he plays because he can't properly emote.
R: 7/10
#451 - Maximum Overdrive [1986]
Excessively over the top but tons of fun, this campy Stephen King adaptation is an 80's gem, and a personal guilty pleasure. This is the only film King directed himself, but he was coked out of his mind throughout the shoot, though you wouldn't know from the finished film. It's well-made, with impressive production design and a few gnarly practical stunts. Emilio Estevez and the rest of the cast overact which further increases the cheese factor.
R: 8/10
#452 - The Christmas Toy [1986]
A Jim Henson short about toys that come alive when humans aren't around. Sounds familiar doesn't it? Well nine years later toy story came along, and borrows many ideas from this movie: toys being replaced
#453 - Escape from L.A. [1996]
R: 9/10
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#454 - Sphere [1998]
Rating: 9.5/10
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#455 - Aliens [1986]
Date Watched: 12/25/15
#456 - They Live! [1988]
Date Watched: 12/25/15
Rating: 8/10
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#457 - Star Wars The Force Awakens [2015]
Date Watched: 12/26/15
Still as good. So well made. I loved everything about this film. Abrams is clearly a fan considering how well he maintained continuity and tone. Loved the lightsaber duel in the snow...so vibrant and eerie. Daisy Ridley is as cute as a button but also a total badass. She's smart, resourceful, brave and excited for the adventure ahead. Oscar Isaac is has a natural charisma and impresses as X-Wing pilot Poe Dameron. John Boyega handles most of the comic relief but still has a satisfying mini-arc.
Rating: 9/10
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#458 - Reindeer Games [2000]
Date Watched: 12/26/15
While it has a few ridiculous plot turns too many, this over the top Ben Affleck vehicle is fun and darkly humorous in the style of Shane Black. The Christmas setting works surprisingly well with the heist aspects, especially the music. Gary Sinise is batshit insane while Charlize Theron is both sweet and sexy, dropping her too numerous times. Isaac Hayes screaming "monsters in the gelatin" is so random but so fucking funny!
Rating: 7.5/10
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#459 - Skyfall [2012]
Date Watched: 12/26/15
A thrilling Bond adventure packed with incredible action and emotionally charged storytelling. The opening chase is one of the series' best, followed by Adele's soulful rendition of the title track.
Rating: 9/10
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#460 - Archivo 253 [2014]
Date Watched: 12/28/15
A Spanish version of Grave Encounters. While many will dismiss it for the lack of tangible monsters, the low budget nature of the film leads to numerous eerie scenes. However, the film ends abruptly, leaving too many things unexplained. A little more detail or backstory would helped it considerably.
Rating: 6/10
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#461 - Immortals [2011]
Date Watched: 12/28/15
Shiny visuals and precise direction along with loose adherence to the Greek myths of Theseus vs the Minotaur and the Titanomachy. I dig the fantasy inspired approach to the material, with archetypal characters and twisted Romanesque production design. I love the weapons like the Hyperion bow and all the gods' skull-shattering über weapons. It was made to resemble 300, to its detriment in my opinion. The sandy visuals make a lot of the battle scenes run together. The could've been more colorful and varied.
Rating: 7/10
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#462 - The Dark Knight Rises [2012]
Date Watched: 12/28/15
An unbalanced finale to the Dark Knight trilogy. TDK was a hard act to follow and while TDKR pits Bats against a formidable foe in Bane, it ultimately undermines the character's true intelligence. The new technology is fucking nifty, especially the Bat and the action scenes are awe-inspiring as expected, though they pale in comparison to what Nolan accomplished in Inception. The ending also feels tacked on and sappy, but it mostly works. Should've pitted him against The Riddler, Mad Hatter and Clayface. It would stretch the realism but be cool as hell!
Rating: 7.5/10
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#463 - 2012 [2009]
Date Watched: 12/28/15
Beyond over the top but undeniably fun, this is Roland Emmerich's bread and butter. Jaw dropping cgi destruction, stereotypical characters and overwrought family drama. Woody Harrelson is delightful as an insane conspiracy theorist.
Rating: 6.5/10
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#464 - Sphere [1998]
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#465 - The Shawshank Redemption [1994]
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#466 - Hocus Pocus [1993]
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#467 - Conan the Destroyer [1984]
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#468 - Lone Survivor [2014]
Piece o shit
Rating: 2/10
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#469 - The Last Castle [2001]
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#470 - The Ruins [2008]
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#471 - Timecop [1994]
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#472 - Behind Enemy Lines [2001]
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#473 - Star Wars - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi [1983]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Say what you will but ROTJ is a great capper to the original trilogy. All everyone remembers is the Ewoks, but there's so much more than that here. Jabba's palace and the Rancor encounter are weird and scary. The speeder bike chase is my second favorite scene in the movie; I love the noise the speeders make as they jet along. The forest battle and Luke versus Vader is a heavy showdown.
Rating: 9/10
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#474 - Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clones [2002]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
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The writing is so horrible. Pained and trite. The "love story" is eye-rollingly cliché, only further emphasizing the massive differences between the original trilogy and the prequels, particularly with actors and screenwriting. As is par for the course in the prequels, the action scenes take precedence over any type of interesting character development. However they are really cool. The assassin speeder chase through Corusant is intense, the asteroid field seismic charges are creative and a great way to test out your home theater system, the Colosseum gladiator style battle echoes Ben Hur and the light saber duel between Dooku and Yoda is pretty wild.
Rating: 5/10
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#475 - Star Wars - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back [1980]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
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Hoth is so cool hehe. The tauntauns are like big snow horses. The AT-AT snow speeder battle is arguably the best action scene of the entire series. Vader revealing he's Luke's father was shocking back then and is still pretty powerful now, over 30 years later. Luke's training is reminiscent of Samurai and kung fu training with the manual labor and seemingly trivial tasks. I liked the use of Plato's allegory of the cave to represent Luke's struggle to fight his father who represents the Dark Side.
Rating: 10/10
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#476 - X2 [2003]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Arguably the best of the series along with First Class. Many people knock Brian Singer's first two X-Men films, but they are solid superhero stories that laid the groundwork for what Marvel would expand upon in their Cinematic Universe. X2 has tons of new characters, including Nightcrawler and Colossus. Singer tries to devote screen time to as many characters as possible, though some obviously and unfortunately take a back seat like Colossus. I like Stryker as the villain, as he's not another mutant baddie and he forces the X-Men and magnetos brotherhood to join forces. Nightcrawlers ability leads to some very cool scenes, including the opening White House siege and a crowdpleasing moment where he saves Rogue after she gets sucked out of the Blackbird. The storyline also begins the dark phoenix saga, which I was excited to see you singer tackle in the third film. However he left to direct to Superman returns, his dream job, and hack Brett Ratner took over to Direct what will become X-Men III: The Last Stand (which if I'm being completely honest, is pretty cool though it has many problems).
Rating: 8.5/10
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#477 - Cursed [2005]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
One of Craven's worst movies despite being another collaboration with Kevin Williamson, the scribe behind the Scream series. To start, the cast sucks. Christina Ricci is horrible here along with the always annoying Judy Greer. The special-effects are the worst part. Craven has used some impressive practical effects throughout his film career but here everything is CGI except for a really shitty werewolf make up that looks like something out of an Ed Wood movie. There is a scene where a werewolf gives the middle finger to someone… It's that bad.
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#478 - Snow White and the Huntsman [2012]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
A mature and gritty retelling of snow White's fairy tale, making snow white more of an action hero and pairing her with the badass huntsman played by Chris Hemsworth. The fantasy vibe is really cool, and the production design is well done. They could easily be in middle earth, though it's not THAT good. I liked the serious versions of the seven dwarves, all pretrade by famous actors. It had a hobbit flavor in a good way. The beach siege and the fight against the black glass shard demons are action highlights. This film also caused Kristen Stewart's break up from her twilight costar Robert Pattinson, which at the time was a big deal… For some reason. Stewart is passable, not nearly as bad as she is in twilight. Charlize Theron steals the show as the devious white queen, chewing the scenery and spewing her dialogue with vitriol. Currently there are plans for a sequel center around the Huntsman, which is a cool idea. Let's see if it pans out.
Rating: 7/10
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#479 - Revenge [1990]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Tarantino is supposedly a huge fan of this Tony Scott flick, but I find it to be plodding and ultimately underwhelming, despite a visceral finale. Costner is bad ass.
Rating: 6/10
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#480 - Ronin [1998]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
An excitingly awesome late 90s action film from season director John Frankenheimer. It features some truly impressive car chases, all shot with real cars, real stunts and real crashes, something that is sorely missing in Hollywood action films nowadays outside of the James Bond film series. One scene in particular has De Niro pop out of his chasing car's sunroof and shooting a rocket launcher at his fleeing target, causing it to explode and flip while going at least 70 mph, while his car avoids the wreckage. It is a piece of technical brilliance that I will never forget. The cast is also exceptional. Robert De Niro, Jean Reno and Stellan Skarsgard all play their professional thieves smoothly and efficiently.
Rating: 8/10
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#481 - Mindhunters [2005]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Renny Harlin's psychological thriller is both clever and cheesy, a rare combination that somehow works here. Of the visuals, love the Rube Goldberg type traps, like the unusual cast.
Rating: 8/10
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#482 - Blade [1998]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Full disclosure: I was assessed with this movie and it's equal for a good 2 to 3 years. I wanted to be blade. I want to hug vampires, but most of all I wanted to make vampire killing weapons. I wrote a screenplay for a third film that I loved writing. I lost the draft on an old computer, but I'm sure it'll surface at some point. If not, the basic outline was like the reapers of the second movie, but the vampires had their abilities cross with that of certain animals, like scorpions and crabs and snakes. One was called Rusk. Anywho, this was the FIRST successful Marvel movie. It predates X-Men by one year and was successful enough to have a superior sequel released in 2002. Stephen Norrington handles the directing duties. He gives the film a steely blue industrial feel which works well with the hierarchal, sterile vampire kingdom. I do like how it gives the vampire race an ancient, all powerful feel, something that was further expanded upon in the PlayStation one video game that I loved. It's such a cool melding of genres; vampires typically fall within the horror realm so mixing them with science fiction in action results in a high-tech but still scary horror film. Blades weapons are fucking cool as hell. His sword, with the built in defense mechanism, the glaive, the steak shooting shotgun, the machine pistol, and EDTA, the anticoagulant that makes vampires explode into chunky blobs.
Rating: 9/10
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#483 - Face/Off [1997]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
John Woo's delightfully zany and over-the-top action film starring John Travolta and Nicolas Cage as arch enemies who switch faces and lives. The premise is about as ridiculous as it gets, but that's what 90s action films were all about. Big ideas and big budgets. The film is insanely quotable, especially once Travolta becomes the "bad guy" such as "Oooo-Weee you good lookin'!" The action and gun fights are theatrically over-the-top but badasses hell, and the speedboat chase and the finale was always a personal favorite.
Rating: 7.5/10
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#484 - Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street [2007]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp collaborated on so many films, this one coming out at their zenith before people started to tire of their schtick. Thanks to the R rating and a surprisingly good performance from Sasha Baron Cohen, the result evokes memories of Burton's early macabre classics like Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorshands and Ed Wood. Even Helena Bonham Carter is good. The Gore is ample, something I wasn't really expecting, but applaud considering how high profile this was when it was released. I remember hearing complaints and shock at the violence.
Rating: 7/10
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#485 - The Cave [2005]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Around this time I was really into horror movies and went to see almost every single one in the theater, usually with my mom and The Cave was one of them. At the time I enjoyed it as a claustrophobic scare fest but it was quickly eclipsed by Neil Marshal's far superior The Descent which came out the following year. Since it takes place underground and it's PG -13, we see very little. The cast is forgettable, despite being made up of familiar faces. I just looked it up, and this movie cost $30 million to make, which seems ridiculous. I could easily make a movie for that nowadays.
Rating: 5/10
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#486 - X-Men: Days of Future Past [2014]
It's fun to imagine what a third X-Men film helmed by Bryan Singer would've been like had he not bailed to direct his dream project, Superman Returns. Luckily, he returned to direct this exciting and epic chapter in the franchise. He successfully combines both casts (despite Jennifer Lawrence's meteoric rise to fame) into a time jumping adventure that is arguably the best of the series along with X2. The future scenes featuring storm, cyclops, magneto, colossus and newcomers Bishop and Blink battling the adaptive sentinels is terrifyingly awesome and surprisingly violent.
Rating: 8/10
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#487 - The Warriors [1979]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
The baseball fucking furies!!! God damn this film is awesome. The music by Barry De Vorzon and the stoic but memorable performances of the entire cast. "I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle!" The 70s vibe is right fucking on with Joe Walsh's "In the City" during the victorious and much deserved peaceful beach stroll end credits.
Rating: 10/10
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#488 - Date Night [2010]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Funny farce that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood 40's and 50's comedies. Steve Carell and Tina Fey have great chemistry. Their improv is funny.
Rating: 7/10
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#489- Saving Private Ryan [1998]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Spielberg's war epic deserves all the recognition gets. It is a harrowing, balls to the wall, got wrenching experience that pulls no punches and shows the true brutality of war. The opening storming of the beaches at Normandy is one of the most intense and shocking pieces of cinema ever created. It is a technical marvel and sets the tone for things to come. This is WAR! The ensemble cast doesn't excellent job, with Tom Hanks leading the charge. Hanks and his collaborations with Spielberg have produced some of America's finest films, and this is no exception. Spielberg's direction is Oscar worthy, and he displays restraint necessary in the quieter scenes. This film will leave you shellshocked.
Rating: 10/10
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#490 - Sniper [1993]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Speaking of shellshocked, 1993's Sniper is a raw yet action-packed addition to the army genre. Tom Berringer stars as the titular sniper, with Billy Zane as back up. This was Luis Llosa's first film before Anaconda, another 90's guilty pleasure of mine. As always, I have a soft spot for 90's action films and this one fits the bill. It was followed by many sequels, most of which are direct to video fare.
Rating: 7/10
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#491 - Eraser [1996]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
Arnold's last truly great action film of the 90s. Directed by the underrated Chuck Russell, this fast-paced actioner has Arnold as a witness protection agent who must protect Vanessa L. Williams from crooked cops and evil Russian terrorists. The action is creative and intense including alligators tearing bad guys limb from limb, a wild midair gun fight and the EM rail gun battle at the docks.
Rating: 8/10
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#492 - Billy Madison [1995]
Date Watched: 12/29/15
One of Adam Sandler's first and best comedies. It showcased his brand of mean-spirited, offbeat humor and scatological gags but the final film is funny and takes us on a stroll back through our formative years, awkwardness and all. Brigette Wilson is smartly hot as Veronica Vaughn, Billy's 4th grade teacher.
Rating: 8/10
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#493 - Night of the Demons [1986]
Date Watched: 12/30/15
An 80s horror gem packed with ridiculous characters, nasty practical gore effects, ghoulish production design and teenage titties galore.
Rating: 7.5/10
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#494 - The Cell [1999]
Date Watched: 12/30/15
Tarsem Singh is a visual mastermind, delivering a nightmare in celluloid form. Filled with disturbing and grotesque imagery, The Cell is like being in a vivid and horrifyingly real nightmare. J-Lo's ass is incredibly plump and delicious.
Rating: 7/10
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#495 - Ghost Rider [2007]
Date Watched: 12/30/15
Could have been amazing, but it's a cheesy B movie starring Nic Cage directed by shortsighted hack. Overly dramatic and goofy at the wrong times but still fun to watch as Nicolas Cage hams it up frequently. Ghost Rider's appearance and all his weapons and vehicles are true to the comic and undeniably badass. Having him face and ultimately defeat the four elemental hell-beings gives it a cool biblical test feel. Sam Elliot is a bright spot, as Wes Bentley is too puny and sniveling to be threatening as Blackheart and Eva Mendes is a caricature.
Rating: 6/10
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#496 - AVP: Alien vs Predator [2004]
Another film that could have been incredible, but thanks to a shitty script and the hindrance of a PG-13 rating, Paul W.S. Anderson isn't able to deliver the bloody, gory shenanigans we are accustomed to seeing from these two alien heavyweights. It gets some things right, like the stereotypical but memorable cast and exploration of the predator technology and a hunting challenges/rites of passage. To me that's always been one of the coolest aspects of the Predator species and universe, The fact that they are a warrior-tribe society that the strong and virile rule based on who can hunt the most fearsome beast. It's such a nifty concept that should still be explored in future films.
Rating: 5.5/10
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#497 - Hollow Man [2000]
Date Watched: 12/30/15
Yet another early 2000's film I saw in the theater with Karen. It was my second exposure to Paul Verhoeven, after RoboCop of course, and his over-the-top gore and violence coupled with his impressive mastery over complicated special effects makes everyone of his film's a joy to watch as you know you'll always get something creative and cool. The scene where he sucks the girl's nipple while invisible turned me on big time as a kid.
Rating: 7.5/10
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#498 - Death Sentence [2007]
Date Watched: 12/30/15
The Comcast story blurb sums things up nicely, referring to the film as "preposterous and gory" which it most certainly is, but that doesn't mean it isn't a good time. It is an unabashed Death Wish clone /homage/unofficial remake that ups the gore and violence that concludes in a satisfying manner. How to make him seems out of place at first, but he begins his descent into madness, he becomes surprisingly threatening. Visually, there are brief echoes of Saw given the directorial connection, but things are pretty slick and some of the shot choices are interesting.
Rating: 6.5/10
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#499 - Judge Dredd [1995]
Date Watched: 12/31/15
While this version is utter shit compared to the 2012 reboot, it's still a corny product of the 90's with lavish production design and a misguided attempt at comic relief with Rob Schneider. Stallone makes for a visually imposing Dredd, but his fame makes the character more cartoonish than cool. And the cardinal sin: he takes off his helmet for most of the film. Dredd is supposed to be the face of justice with no real persona. That's why he never takes off the helmet. You only need to look to the reboot with Karl Urban to see how threatening the character can be.
Rating: 5/10
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#500 - In The Mouth Of Madness [1995]
Date Watched: 12/31/15
Probably my second or third favorite John Carpenter film. This Lovecraftian adaptation blurs the line between nightmare and reality by having an author who's writings literally drive people insane. I love this film for so many reasons. Sam Neil is fucking awesome as insurance investigator John Trent and Jürgen Prochnow is perfect as Sutter Cane – the coolest author name ever! Once they get to Hobb's End and weird shit starts happening, like elderly caretaker Mrs. Pickford who transforms into a plant monster and chains up her husband in the basement. Because of the film's rules, it is allowed to play fast and loose with the laws of reality, shifting into different realms as needed.
Rating: 9.5/10
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